


scars of the past

by malkkins



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Car Accident, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malkkins/pseuds/malkkins
Summary: The sound of the car slamming into the side of their own echos as Sid is bounced around the car. He feels them come to a stop and he immediately opens his eyes- scared to see what Geno looks like. Sid feels the need to vomit and he doesn’t know if the light is suppose to hurt his head or not. He forces himself to keep his eyes open and manages to roll his head to look at Geno. There’s glass shards sticking out of his head, blood pouring down his face, his arm is pinned in between the crushed door and his left side, and his knee is bent in a funny direction against the steering wheel.





	scars of the past

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to [ sidsknees ]() for all of his help!

He’s sitting across the table from Geno, his eyes locked on the way the other man’s hand moves as he writes his notes down. It’s not fair, Sid thinks to himself, they were almost something, they were almost together. They could’ve been together, but instead, they’re sitting across the table from each other- fighting for the right to have a dodgeball tournament as a fundraising event. 

They met freshman year, two eighteen-year-olds skating across a fresh sheet of ice on their college’s hockey team. They formed a bond and to all of their teammates, it looked like Sid and Geno were going to start dating. And then, the accident happened. The accident ended both of their hockey careers and Sid grew to resent Geno for a long time.

Now, three years later, Sid is the President of Phi Beta Pi, spends his life coaching, studying sports medicine, and cheering on his former teammates. Last he heard- Geno was a sports management major with a minor in Russian history and the President of Phi Pi Gamma. It is hard enough on Sid to know that he has to see Geno everyday across the street- watch him as he brings home different boys and girls after getting drunk, but he sees him on campus at the rink. Maybe the worst occasion is the weekly president meetings- where he has to sit across the table from his former lover. 

“Do we have an agreement?” The voice of the council president draws Sid out of his personal pity party.

“Phi Beta Pi can do the dodgeball tournament but that give Phi Pi Gamma rights to do a Shave a Brother event,” Sid repeats back to him without moving his eyes from his paper.

“No. No-we do dodgeball,” Geno pipes up from across the table. Sid lets out a sigh. He is done fighting with him. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s been done fighting with Geno since their last fight.

“Fine. Whatever.” Sid pushes his chair out. “You can have dodgeball.” It’s the last thing he says before walking out of the room. He watches the ground beneath his feet as he walks back to the house. He just wants to go up to his room, watch whatever hockey game is on, and do his homework. His plan doesn’t go over well because the second he steps into the foyer, he gets ambushed by both of his littles.

“Jake, Conor, why are you staring at me?” Both of them share his love of hockey and they both play on the school’s hockey team.

“What happened?” Jake questions, his blue eyes staring past Sid and fixated on the house across the street.

“What do you mean what happened? Besides that, we lost the dodgeball tournament.”

“That’s not we meant.”

“Conor, I am not in the mood for your games.”

Jake and Conor share a look, then at the ground before looking back up at Sid. They wait for a second before Jake finally asks.

“What happened between you and Geno?”

Sid freezes, his heart beating out of his chest. He doesn’t tell their story to anyone. He doesn’t want people to know, to know how close he came to actually being happy, to being in love.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He doesn’t stay around long enough to hear what Jake and Conor have to say. He takes the stairs two at a time, just to get to his room. He falls face first onto his bed, not caring to change his clothes.

—

_Sid finds himself in Geno’s bright red sports car, watching as his teammate drives a little too fast for Sidney’s likely. He wants to sign it off as nerves, but something tells him that Geno always drives like this. Sid reaches his hand over and rests it on top of where Geno’s rests against the gear shift. Sid side glances at his date to find a smile that stretches wide across his face. In that moment, he knows that he would do anything to make sure Geno always has a smile on his face._

_For a moment, everything seems perfect. They’re stopped at a red light, he’s pressing a soft kiss to Geno’s cheek, which makes both of their cheeks turn bright red. The light turns green and Geno presses the gas without looking to his right._

_The sound of the car slamming into the side of their own echos as Sid is bounced around the car. He feels them come to a stop and he immediately opens his eyes- scared to see what Geno looks like. Sid feels the need to vomit and he doesn’t know if the light is supposed to hurt his head or not. He forces himself to keep his eyes open and manages to roll his head to look at Geno. There are glass shards sticking out of his head, blood pouring down his face, his arm is pinned in between the crushed door and his left side, and his knee is bent in a funny direction against the steering wheel._

—

He wakes up with a scream. It’s dark outside, but he can still hear loud music and girls giggling. PPG must be having a house party. Sid slowly gets up, his leg stiff from falling asleep in his jeans. He moves to the window, just in time to watch to watch a woman throw up on the lawn. With a grunt, he changes out of his button-down and into a sweatshirt before heading downstairs. He walks into the kitchen, grabbing a muffin before finding himself in the dining room.

“I heard you scream,” Tanger says as Sid slides in next to him. “Accident again?” Sid rolls down the liner on his muffin, his eyes trained on the way the paper peels off.

“Why does he have to make everything so difficult?” He sounds drained. He’s done with falling asleep and dreaming of only Geno.

“Because he’s in love with you.” Sid shakes his head before taking a bite of his muffin.

“He hates me,” he responds once he’s done chewing. “I broke his heart.”

“You both had just been told you could no longer play hockey. It’s hard, Sid.”

“I shouldn’t have ended things, Tanger. We could’ve helped each other, maybe things would’ve turned out different.”

—

_It’s the first day that they both of them are out of the hospital. Sid is laying in his bed, all of his lights turned off in order to help him recover from his concussion. Geno is sitting in a chair next to him, fresh scars on his forehead and crunches leaning against the bed. They haven’t talked about the accident or hockey in the two weeks since they’ve hardly talked at all. They both know that their hockey careers are over._

_“Why are you here?” The question comes out just as harsh as Sidney intended it to. “We’re both done for, neither of us will play another season of hockey again-”_

_“Sid, I’m-”_

_“-We won’t get drafted and we won’t get the chance to hoist the cup. Do you realize that? It’s all your fault. You couldn’t have waited at least three more seconds.” Sid’s eyes fall close again, trying to focus on his words and not on the pain. “Please. Just leave.”_

_He hears Geno limp out of the room and out of Sidney’s life. It takes Sid a year and a half to realize that he messed up._

—-

It’s getting colder outside, winter knocking at the door, which gives Sid the urge to throw on a pair of skates and find a rink- so that’s what he does. He finds the university’s ice rink mostly empty- it’s still warm enough for fall activities- but there’s one person skating on the ice. Sid loses his breath for a second when he realizes who it is. Without saying a word, he sits down and laces up his skates. He still keeps up with the maintenance of them, refusing to let his love of skating be hindered by the fact he can no longer play.

Once he gets to the edge of the ice, it’s when Geno notices that he’s there. “Sidney.” The way his voice comes out of Geno’s mouth makes his heart beat a little too fast for his likely.

“Evgeni.” It’s their casually greeting, simply acknowledgment of each other.

He’s gliding once his feet hit the ice and he almost forgets that Geno is in the same room as him. The smell of ice, the slight chill in the air, the sounds of his skates hitting the sheet- nothing makes Sid happier than being out on the ice. While he’s out here, he feels six years old again- holding his first hockey stick and telling anyone who would listen how he was going to win the Stanley Cup. He knows that it’s not possible anymore. He doesn’t get a chance to win the hardest trophy in all of sports and, for the first time in three years, the thought doesn’t reduce him to tears.

He opens his eyes just see himself collide with Geno. The six foot tall man falls on top of him and it oddly reminds Sid of the first time he never kissed his former teammate- but he doesn’t let himself have time to reminisce about it, he has a two hundred pound man on top of him. He doesn’t know what to say and Geno isn’t making an attempt to move. Deciding, after a few short moments of intense awkward, that he needed to say something, Sid opened his mouth.

“Comfy?” It’s meant to ease the tension in the room and the small chuckle that trickles out of Geno’s mouth is more than enough to make Sid relax. Once he’s back on his skates, Geno holds his hand out and helps Sid up. Geno starts to skate away but Sid calls out his name to stop him. “I was, um, thinking that, um–” he stutters for a second, one hand holding onto the back of his neck while his eyes are fixated on feet “–maybe we can get coffee soon? Talk about things?”

The smile that crosses Geno’s face warms Sidney’s cheeks even more than his giggle did. “Would like, ya.”

—

It’s later that night, far after Sid should’ve been asleep, his phone lights up with a text message.

**From Evgeni: Our place. Tomorrow. 3pm.**

**Sent: Deal.**

He falls asleep within minutes, a smile plastered on his face.

—

Their place is the hole in the coffee shop ten minutes away from campus. There’s hardly anyone ever in here so both Sid and Geno thought it was a great place for them to hide out from the prying eyes of their teammates. The mismatched armchairs, wooden tables, and soft music offer a sense of homeliness.

Sid finds himself sitting in his favorite oversized armchair, his feet dangling over the edge as he grips his coffee mug with both of his hands while he waits for Geno. Sid is always early, Geno is always late, it’s always been that way and it’s a comfort that something never change.

Sid can feel his heart beating out of his chest, like it could explode that any moment. He misses Geno, it’s a fact that he tries to keep close to his own heart. There’s a good possibility that Sidney is head over heels in love with his former partner in crime.

The bell over the door rings and Sid looks up from his coffee to see Geno head over towards him. Sid adjusts himself so his feet on the ground in front of him. He places his coffee on the table, rests his elbows on his knees and smiles at the man across from him.

“You said talk?” Geno’s Russian accent comes out a little as he sits down. He was born and raised in Russia - Sid knows this - but moved to Pittsburgh in order to get a better education.

“Um-yeah-” Sid’s hand come up and cups the back of his own neck-his own nervous tick. “I just wanted say that I’m sorry- for the way things ended with us. I shouldn’t—- I shouldn’t have left.”

“Then why you leave?”

Sid’s eyes cast downward, focusing where his hands are tangled together. “I was scared, hurt. I wanted to blame someone but there is no person to blame. It was an accident, accidents happen. I never thought about upset or guilty you would’ve felt. We could’ve helped each other through the pain. We didn’t have to become enemies.”

“I lost hockey, too. Wasn’t just you. Already felt guilty- then you yell, blame me, make me feel worst.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me.”

“Hate Sid? Never. Maybe for few months after accident but not now. I love Sid, couldn’t hate him.” Sid feels his face heat up, his lips break into his eye squinting smile and for the first time in three years, maybe Sid doesn’t need hockey.

“I love G, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [ tumblr ]()


End file.
